he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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