He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize