Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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