laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
