I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize