Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
