we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize