Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
