Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
