yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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