we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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