zippers are such a cool invention
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sober January is a disaster.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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