Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
