i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
