What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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