hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the day after is always just damage control
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize