There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
