No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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