And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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