His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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