i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
