Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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