there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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