party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Alive.
So much puke
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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