we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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