Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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