Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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