Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
