Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
