You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
