How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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