nut hugger
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
