Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
