I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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