The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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