she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
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woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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