she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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