Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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