dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize