She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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