Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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