all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Enjoy the penises
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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