Where did you get a picture of my penis
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
