508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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