1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I would fuck him just for his dog
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
