I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
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Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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