stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
