would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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