your room smells of hookers.
And success
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
