If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
