you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
