I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
