i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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