yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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