I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
