looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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