Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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