that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize