literally had 100 drinks last night.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize